How Wet Did We Get???

The day started a bit lumpy. No coffee, [we forgot to write the time we wanted it on the request form], it was raining out and looking outside I thought that it was impossible to fit our ship in the allotted space. It was only 6 AM, in Lyttelton, the port for Christchurch, NZ.

By 7 AM the rain stopped, the coffee came and the captain had shrunk the boat and we were snugged in behind a freighter unloading bulk phosphate!

We, [Cutler's and Robin's], hopped a cab at 8 AM to the information centre in Christchurch and got our connection to the Jet Boat ride we booked. We shared the van with two Japanese girls. The trip took a full hour through pelting rain and flat country of hobby farms and then small family farms, all sheep.


We arrived at the shed where the boat is docked and donned some protective gear of hats, gloves and jackets, plus a life jacket on top of that. The clothing had a certain smell that I preferred to think was a wet mouldy smell instead of a human odour. [Sorry folks.]




Our Kiwi guide gave us a 15 second safety talk and then took off into the icy water that in some places is six inches deep. The boat needs only three! It is known as a jet boat. The propulsion is via a high speed jet of water that is scooped up and then forced out through about a five inch opening at the rate of around 500 litres per SECOND.

The noise is deafening, like a chain saw at full throttle. This noise however is somewhat obliterated by the sound of the rain hitting your face at 90 kph [54 mph], and the sound of your excess cheek and jowl flesh flapping in the wind!




At first I thought 'this is fantastic', our man did 360 degree wheelies in deep water that was better than any thrill ride I have been on. The boat turns on a dime and does not 'float' sideways when doing a turn, it TURNS! We went over areas that I swear we were on rocks and not the water. He of course comes as close as possible to the gorge sides. All of this at high speed and the sound adds to the adrenaline rush.

The rain seems to have picked up somewhat. It was almost impossible not to hold onto the boat or your hood or hat. I felt a trickle of water run down my back. Soon my collar was wet, and do you remember when you were a kid and you peed your pants? That warm feeling in your underwear? Well, that was the feeling, only I did not pee my pants. I thought, 'that is about enough of this'. It was impossible to speak to anybody.


We proceeded further up the river to more wheelies and monsoon-like weather. My shirt and pants were now soaked through. I thought 'am I the only one in this damn boat that is wet?' Our man stopped, beached the boat and said this was as far as we could go. We had been in this mix-master about 30 minutes.

He turns the boat down-river and more thrills. Now we can go faster down-river and guess what, we have the wind coming at us full force! OH BOY! I thought of Shackelton and Captain Bligh in their open boats for weeks on end. But they were at least getting paid. We had paid for this! I thought 'will this never end?'


25 kilometres from top to bottom, it seemed like an eternity. It usually seems shorter on any return journey over the same route. Not in New Zealand and not on this river! My last thought was, 'what the hell am I going to look like when we finish?'

Our driver gave us a tremendous flourishing end with a fantastic splash and we were back at the dock. I was afraid to stand up! However when I noticed that all the other paying passengers were walking like they had done more than pee in their pants I realized that the same thoughts must have passed through the minds of others as well.


It was fantastic! The rain added to the drama, a sunny day would have been just another thrill ride, this one will last a lifetime.

We tried to dry out in the van on the hour run back to Christchurch. Our Japanese friends passed each of us a small candy bar, that was a touching thing for them to do. We are/were not allowed to take ANY edibles off the ship. Even a candy bar we may have bought yesterday in Wellington. [Bio-Security it is called.]

Back into town for a feed of green-lipped mussels and hamburgers, hot tea and cold beer.


Then a bit of sightseeing before heading back to the ship. Jim and I went back into Lyttelton to try to get a car for tomorrow, unsuccessfully.




We made it back to the cabin around 4.30, still cold, and more than anything exhausted. I slept for two hours before ordering room service, others ate upstairs.

It was the kind of day I at least, enjoy, full of uncertainty and adventure with good friends. Who knows or cares what tomorrow will bring.

Meanwhile the weather in Saskatachewan has warmed up from -50 C to -20, with wind-chill. I guess I wasn't so cold after-all.